Happy Gay Pride part 3

While I was in college, I was finally accepting that I am gay. My own acceptance was made much easier by my friend Jeff. He started taking me to some gay establishments. We made our first gay trek to Chicago together. I started visiting the nearest gay bar to where I was living, which was an hour away in Champaign/Urbana (which is where I live now). There were many weeks that Jeff and I would spend 5 nights a week up here at that gay bar. About this same time, I got my "Fag Hag". Her name was Connie. At first, I didn't tell her I was gay, it honestly never crossed my mind. Well, she started thinking we were dating, so one night while I was drunk, I broke down and told her that I was gay. She was the first person I "came out" to. Things went pretty well and Connie and I became better friends.
Coming Out Experiences: Good-1

The problem was, Connie was very good friends with my sister. They had even been roommates before my sister moved away for college. So the next day, realizing I probably should have thought it out better before telling Connie, I had to call my sister to tell her that I was gay. My sister seemed alright with the news. She said that our mom had been asking her if I was gay or not. Everything seemed like it was ok. So I felt pretty good, so far I have told 2 people, and they both seemed ok. BUT...there just has to be a but, she called the next crying, wanting to know why I was gay. Needless to say, my sister and I had a few of those conversations.
So the score took a beating, Coming Out Experiences: Good-1 Not-So-Good-1

The next person I was wanting to tell was my mom. We were pretty close, and since she had already questioned my sister about it, it just made sense. The only problem was my mom had been diagnosed with cancer sometime before this whole coming out process started for me. I promised my sister that I would have the talk with our mom when she got better. But my mom never got any better. Before she passed away, my mom had all of her sisters come and visit her. The spent the whole day together, just the 4 of them. I found out after my mom had passed, that my mom had discussed my sister and me with my aunts on that day. The topic of me probably being gay was also brought up. One of my aunts said she would never accept that because she was Catholic. Another aunt said she wouldn't be able to accept that because of her religious beliefs. And the third aunt said she would love me not matter what. Geez, I wonder who my favorite aunt is of the three? LOL But sadly, I never did discuss being gay with my mom.
Coming Out Experiences: Good-1 Not-So-Good-1 Missed Opportunities-1

My dad and I were never close. We had a little bonding period after my mom died, but we were still distant. He started seeing a woman a short time after my mom had passed. Many times during our conversations, he would ask open-ended questions to see how I would answer them. I could tell that he was basically asking without coming right out and asking. So after a brief conversation with my sister where she told me that he had been asking her about my sexuality, I decided to bite the bullet. His birthday was coming up, so I wrote him a 3 page letter detailing my life. I told him that I understood if he had a problem with it because of his conservative upbringing. I would be fine, I had quite extensive "family" of friends, but I would be hurt if he wasn't in my life any more. I chickened out and left it on his bed where he would find it later. He called me the next day to tell me that he had read my letter with his new girlfriend. They discussed it and they were both happy that I had shared this personal information with them. They both loved me and nothing had changed between us. YAY! :)
Coming Out Experiences: Good-2 Not-So-Good-1 Missed Opportunities-1

One of the many side effects of my sister not dealing with my sexuality very well, was that she took it upon herself to out me to everybody. It wasn't bad at first, after all, she was going to school 200 miles away. So it started off with me visiting her, only to be introduced as "My Gay Brother"...as if she had any other brothers. Or people that I didn't know would come up to me and say "I would have never guessed that you are gay." Gee, thanks sis! But then she had to open her mouth one time too many to our grandparents. My grandparents are very religious. I had pretty much made up my mind to never bring up the subject to them. But thanks to my big-mouthed sister, that was taken care of for me. So I had a long discussion with my grandparents. I got the "we still love you no matter what" speech. And to this day, I have felt like they do mean it. When I was dating, they would always welcome the other half into their house. My grandparents took it better than my sister!
Coming Out Experiences: Good-3 Not-So-Good-1 Missed Opportunities-1

I will say that even though my sister and I rarely talk (because of many other things), I don't think she has a problem with it anymore. I am open about being gay with everybody...I don't see a need to hide it. But at the same time, I am definitely not flamboyant. Many of times I get the "I would never have guessed" comment. And I always love when new employees at work will call something "Gay". Often, if the person doesn't know about me (after all, there are a lot of high school kids that work for me) I just give the people who do know a little wink. Or, if the person does already know, I will playfully act like I am hurt by the comment. Overall, I would say I have had a good coming out experience. I realize that not everybody has as good of an experience as me. But I would like to wish everybody, whether they are out or still closeted, gay, bi or straight, male or female, a very happy Gay Pride Day. Celebrate it knowing that things are getting better all the time!